Decision

We are working with a potential corporate sponsor for a charity project. 

Mostly we are talking on the details of the itineraries of the events scheduled in two weeks time. Yet, they couldn't tell us when the funds would be released to us so that we can start our work. When I asked about it the other day, they just keep telling us that we must meet to discuss it. 

So that's it. So I just told them we are pulling out from the project. Just like that. 

We just can't do it within the short time span that we have. We might able to do it but I don't think we are able to give our best especially for the sick kids.

Frankly, I've never been so brave before to do what I have done. I usually will procrastinate in making decisions. But not that very day. And I found that it is so liberating, (although I did spent the whole day being angry about it.)

And it has also made them to act.

They didn't apologised for what has happened. I don't really care. But they told me that they will still do it for the sake of the sick kids. Great! 


Maimonides, a Jewish philosopher in the Middle Ages once said, "The risk of a wrong decision is preferable to the terror of indecision."

Lousy Day

Today wasn't the the best day to perform. At least for me.

DR Lat was down with cold and could not make it for our Thursday's round. He messaged me this morning.

I went to the ward with quite low energy. Perhaps missing my clown wife. I hope he's getting better. Luckily Mr Uncle Twist Twist, my balloonologist came by for his cancer treatment and he became my surrogate clown wife.

The nurse gave us the weather report. Not many patients today in the ward. Baby Al-Fateh checked-in into the Isolation Room. He's down with fever and some boils.

Suet Yee is still there. The cheerful 9 year old girl can't go back until her platelet level increases to normal. It's time for clown manicure service! and naturally Uncle Twist Twist became our customer. Suet Yee picked the nice tiny stickers and I put it on Uncle Twist Twist's fingernails.

"Not the pink one! Not the pink one!" Uncle Twist Twist pleaded. I insisted Suet Yee to torture Uncle Twist Twist by picking out the pink stickers. But Suet Yee relented to Uncle Twist cry for help and gave him the yellow ones. Never mind, we still have many years to come to torture him.

We blew bubbles for Elvis, another baby who has been in the wards for weeks.

The nurses reminded us on our promise to serenade them with 100 songs in 5 minutes for the Nurses Day celebration next week. I have been thinking, wouldn't it be nice if we could have a cake and a barrel of KFC for them next week? Anybody wants to help? Let me know.

Today's clownrounds reminded me of a story of Liam Neeson, my favourite actor. He kept a quote by Samuel Beckett in his dressing room as inspiration. It says, “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

Neeson said, "You’ve come offstage, you’ve done a lousy performance for whatever reason, and you get a chance to go on stage the next night and the night after that for four or five months. You make it better, but you have to be there. You have to come back to the plate again. You have to keep always coming to the plate.”

I will come back to the ward again next week.

I am Doing it!

Blowing bubbles for Suet Yee, a 9 year old cancer patient

It has been 4 weeks since I started clowning 'fulltime' at cancer children ward in Pusat Perubatan UKM.

The journey started 14 years ago. There were times when I want to quit.

There were times when I was lost and tried to regain back my direction.

At last, after 14 years, I am doing it. Really really doing it.

This Thursday I am going there again.

In fact, on every Thursday you can find me there, walking from bed to bed, listening, and keep reminding myself to breathe all the time.

#blogreviveday

DR Bubbles dan Panda

Latfy aka DR Lat and me with Panda!

Yeay! the children picture book, DR Bubbles dan Panda has just been published! I wrote it, Latfy illustrated it and Karangkraf published it.

This is the fifth books in the series. Now we have 4 children picture books in the series plus two activity books.

Royalties from this book goes to Red Bubbles. It will allow us to continue our work in cheering up seriously ill children in PPUKM Cheras and Hospital Sultan Ismail, Johor Bahru.

You can get the books in the series from me. And if you want to send the gift of these books to sick kids, we are more than happy to deliver it for you.

Let me know.