Tuesday, October 31, 2006

hear what Laurence Olivier said

I found that the advice by Sir Laurence Olivier in his book, "On Acting" (Wiedenfield & Nicholson, 1986) is very much relevant to theatrical clowning work.

He wrote,

"Members of the audience must be respected.They must never be underestimated.
It's very easy to sneer behind your handkerchief and wink at your fellows in
the wings, but among that sea of faces beyond the footlights someone will know.

It is the same wherever you go, in all form of entertainment:You respect
them, they may respect you.They can be manipulated, of course,but that something

This they enjoy, this is why they are here; but they must not be
handled clumsily or obviously."

I guess that's why I don't laugh when watching Senario or Gitu Gitu Apek or perhaps AHA!

BIG decision

made a very big decision during raya.A very very very BIG.
now anxiously waiting.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

a letter to me

Dear me,

I know how you felt about The New York Clown Festival recently. I know you can't hide your frustation with what you have gone through. To be in some good workshops yet trapped in some bad ones - watched some good and Bad shows and to admit that it wasn't much what you are looking for especially after spending considerable sum of money just to go there.

And today while trying to push it away from your mind, you got a surprise email from The Whynot Institute informing that Angela de Castro is conducting her almost annual 2 weeks intensive masterclass workshop" How to be a Stupid" in London from 20th November to 1st December 2006 for GBP450 only. Aaaaaaahh! How you wish you knew this earlier and perhaps you could scrapped off the New York trip for this workshop.

Well, that's life. you found and grab something and you might missed something. You just don't know. It's not a failure. Don't you ever think like that. In clown world, you embrace failure with chin up attitude and just march on.

I know how you wish you could have lots of money to just fly to London in 3 weeks time and learn as much as you can from this inspiring lady and return to teach fellow clowns under your wings. Could it be possible? It might. You have done many impossible things since you embarked for this journey. Trust your intuition my friend. You know that you all along never listen to the voices that always says, " It can't be done" and you will prove otherwise. By all means -Just follow your heart and do what is necessary.

Your friend,



"How To Be A Stupid"

An intensive, challenging journey into the state of clowning with masterclown Angela de Castro

Monday 20 November to Friday 1 December 2006
London, £450

‘How To Be A Stupid’ is a full-time full-on course into the state of clowning - intense and challenging but profoundly transformatory as well. For beginners and those more experienced who need refreshing, refocusing or a burst of energy, this course will take you on a profoundly challenging journey, with laughs and play along the way.

For Angela de Castro, clowning is not a technique but a state, a state of imagination. How To Be A Stupid will take you on a journey to find and maintain that state. Through exercises and games, this practical course takes participants through a process that helps them find their clown within and experience this persona in the state of clowning.

Week one of the workshop is an introduction to Angela de Castro’s method and the search for the clown persona. The aim is to encourage participants to discover their own clown style and their clown within. Week two takes participants onto more advanced clowning techniques and the creation of The Land of Why Not.

For those of you who are already clowns, this process will help you find truthfulness and depth in your clowning, encompassing the tragic as much as the comic. For actors and other performers, this process will help make your performing more real, more individual, more joyful. For beginners and those who just want an experience of personal development, the course will take you on a transformatory journey of discovery.

How To Be A Stupid is a unique masterclass in clowning. Come prepared for challenges and change. How To Be A Stupid changes your approach to your work and your life, as the state of clowning/ imagination is the starting point for the creative process in any field.

This workshop is demanding, intense, inspiring and emotional, with lots to discover for beginners in clowning and reassurance for those who are already clowning and need a burst of energy.

“I expected it to be very difficult. The truth was that the clown state was difficult for everyone, actors included. The emotions they convey are yours and they’re about you, no one else. You have to be brave to do that. The clown state is also incredibly fragile: you come out of it very easily. De Castro explained that she had discovered a few years ago that teaching was as much part of her mission as being a clown. We never once doubted how serious she was about this. She only showed a technique to help us understand, never as an opportunity to show off. But boy is she talented! I don’t think I have the ability to turn the clown state into a performance per se. Who knows… meanwhile I can see that the single most important factor behind my sweetest moments so far is flashes of courage. Let’s have more!”
HTBAS Participant

Practical information

Date: Monday 20 November to Friday 1 December
(please note: Monday to Friday only for both weeks)

Time: 9.30am to 6pm daily

Cost: £450

Place: Islington, London

Open for: HTBAS is open to all performers, non-performers and anyone
who would like to do personal research on the way they present
themselves. There is a limit of 12 places and participants must
be aged 18+.

Availability: You need to be available for the whole workshop because it
follows a process which the whole group needs to go through
together. It is not possible for participants to take time off for
other commitments or to arrive late/leave early.

Fee: If you book between July and 30 September, you can reserve
your place by sending a non-refundable deposit of £100. The
remainder of the fee is due by 1 November. For those booking from 1 October, the full fee must be paid when you apply. The booking form tells you how to send your fee.

T&C: Please make sure you read the terms and conditions on the
booking form carefully before you apply, especially those
relating to cancellation and attendance.

The Why Not Institute
020 7739 8363 whynotinstitute@aol.com

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

kad raya

just got kad raya from a cancer patient i met for a brief moment not so long time ago. He wrote,


Selamat menjalani ibadat puasa.

Terima kasih diucapkan di atas bantuan kewangan yang diberikan oleh MAKNA.

Sekarang ini saya dirujuk semula ke Hospital Besar Kuantan.

Laporan CT Scan yang terakhir menunjukkan keputusan positif sehinggakan doktor-2 tidak mempercayainya. Tumor di kawasan pankreas didapati sembuh sepenuhnya.

Namun masih perlu rawatan susulan. Berjumpa Pakar Bedah di HTAA serta oncologist HKL yang datang ke HTAA setiap 2 bulan. 3 atau 4 bulan sekali perlu dibuat CT scan dan diperiksa kandungan darah. Bimbang ianya berulang."

His parting words really struck deep into my heart.

Harap Allah memanjangkan usia kita. Selamat Berjumpa kembali.

Mohd Azmi Awang
Kemaman, Terengganu.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to you all. Harap Allah memanjangkan usia kita.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

rintih golcuk

I think i wrote this in 1999 after watching BBC coverage on the earthquake in Turkey that left 14,000 dead.

Rintih Golcuk

seorang anak menyaksi semua,
45 saat terlalu lama
terlalu pedih
tiada ibu disisi
bapa telah jauh pergi
hanya tindihan konkrit
cerucuk layu
si cilik Chemin
menunggu setia.

sebuah masjid menyaksi semua,
seorang tua asyik dgn quran usang,
ditepi runtuhan 7 tingkat
gerombolan penyelamat,
menguis serpihan raksasa,
sesekali terhenti,
mendengar rintihan
yang semakin diam.

sebuah dunia menyaksi semua,
laungan soldadu atarturk
mendiamkan azan di hagia sophia
kini lesu keliru
akibat bentak menyalah manusia
yang kian muak dengan opresi
berdekad lama.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

rekindle the memory

My fellow STARians and senior, Ilon called me from from our beloved alma mater today to ask me about the whereabouts of tins of old films on STAR Ipoh during the King's visit in 1957 . He is searching for materials for our alma mater Golden Jubilee Celebration next year. I discovered it in the Kelab Wayang Gambar -turned to - store room in our School Hall during my search for historical items while actively involved in STAR Historical Society in the 1990s. I found it together with the photos of STAR during constructions days.

Too bad when I left STAR, the films and all those memorabilias we found and carefully kept during our time and passed to the younger generations eventually "lost" during the years. I think the regret I still have is not to keep it in my possession knowing its value and historical importance.

Alas, Ilon reassures me old copies of our school magazines "PERINTIS" dated back to 1962 are still there in the library. But he can't find the 1st issue of PERINTIS yet. I still remember proudly reading the magazine about my father who just won Victoria Bronze Medal in Swimming in 1963 and also showing my friend how handsome my father was in his Brigade Commander of St John's Ambulance uniform. (I eventually followed his footstep by becoming a Sgt Major for Malaysian Red Crescent unit). I am looking forward to go back there next year - with my father of course!

STARians 89 -93 (guess which one is me? clue: gua dulu slim and jambu!)

Monday, October 09, 2006

he did it again!

My sister's friend came to her house for buka puasa recently. After the buka puasa, being a good guest, she went to the kitchen and help my sister to wash the dishes.

As she was busy helping, my nephew Amin entered the kitchen and remarked,

" Alhamdulillah, ada orang basuh pinggan!"

Rudy's Game Plans for Winning at Life

I love the story of Daniel "RUDY" Ruettiger in the film"Rudy". Such an inspiring guy he is. Below are his insights on winning at life.

Insight #1 Be the person you want to be.
"Make the decision to take action and move closer to your Dream. Create daily success habits and surround yourself with information that will empower and inspire you."

Insight #2 Use anger in a positive way to get results.
"Anger is a normal reaction. It's what you do with anger that makes a difference in your life ... direct your anger towards a goal ... use anger in a positive way to get results ... from anger comes determination ... comes triumph."

Insight #3 It starts with a Dream.
"Visualize your Dream and make a commitment. Having a Dream is what makes life exciting. Never underestimate the power of a Dream. It will change your life. A Dream gives you the ability to determine your future."

Insight #4 Eliminate the confusion.
"Find mentors who encourage you. The right information will eliminate confusion. Visualize exactly what you want to be ... and focus on that ... believe in yourself and don't let anything stop you. Reinforce your Dream every day with positive information from tapes, books, and mentors. Each day you will get closer to your Dream. Eliminate the confusion and fears, and make it happen."

Insight #5 The greater the struggle, the greater the victory.
"Most people allow struggles and fear of failure to stop them. The key is to learn from your struggles and move on. Failures will make you stronger and give you the information you need to reach your Dream. Struggle will prepare you for success. Without struggle there is no success."

Insight #6 Follow your passion instead of the dollar.
"There's nothing wrong with making money ... but, it's important to focus on your passion instead of the dollar. For me, decisions based on my passion brought me closer to my Dream, while decisions based only on money took me further away. If you focus on what really fulfills you, you will have success. The dollar alone does not bring happiness."

Insight #7 Excuses will kill your Dream.
"What we're really talking about here is commitment. Until you make a commitment to your Dream, it's not really a Dream ... it's just another fantasy full of excuses. Fantasies don't come true because they're not real, we're not committed to them. When we make commitments, we eliminate excuses and they become Dreams ... and Dreams are definitely real."

Insight #8 Prepare for your Dream.
"Preparation is what comes from struggle. Knowledge comes from preparation. These are the elements that pave the road to your Dream. If we do not prepare we will not succeed. Set your goals and pursue your Dreams with all your heart. If you miss a goal, don't quit, reset it! You just need to learn more ... step by step you will win!"

Insight #9 Focus on your Dream and Never Quit.
It is always too soon to quit. If you quit, you can't succeed. By achieving your Dream you will be an inspiration to others. You will set the example and make an enormous impact on the world. Make it happen!"

Insight #10 Always have a Dream.
"Dreams give us energy to go to new levels. Dreams change lives ... the power of life is in your Dreams!"

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

doa buka puasa hari ini

Ya Allah,

Terima kasih diatas nikmat yang kau berikan iaitu sekeping PIZZA STUFFED CRUST PEPPERONI (separuh lagi ROYAL MASALA) LARGE untuk hambamu ini berbuka puasa hari ini.

Dan juga selamatkan perjalanan budak Pizza Hut yang naik motorsikal menghantar pizza itu pada petang ini pergi dan balik.


Tuesday, October 03, 2006

mari membaca

Just bought John Wright's " Why is that so Funny" from Amazon.com. I will get it in 2 weeks time. Hilary Chaplain mentioned about it when we had drinks at Catfish near The Brick Theatre after her show.

I finished James Bradley's "Flag of Our Fathers" while in NYC and grabbed Rory Stewart's "The Places in Between" at Newark Airport on the way home.