Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Actual writings on charts in Hospitals

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

7. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

9. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

10. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.

11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. She is numb from her toes down.

14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

15. The skin was moist and dry.

16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

24. Skin: somewhat pale. but present.

25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

26. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

4 comments:

Kak Teh said...

Is, this reminds me of visit to doctor when i was 7 months pregnant. I kept having fainting fits and was lying on the bed.
Doc: what brought about this fainting fits? have u not been eating?
KT: err, may be something to do with with my pregnancy?
Doc: What? U're pregnant? No one tells me anything these days. (Sambil menjeling nurse)

Kak teh was lying in bad like a stranded whale and couldn't even see my toes. Yet he couldn't even see the bump!

drbubbles said...

hahahahahaha.....

atenah said...

hi is, has been visiting but not commenting. yr convention tu kat east coast US ye?

drbubbles said...

tenah,

yup east coast. south paris, maine.atas sikit dari portland. my plan is to fly from KL to Newark then get connecting flight to portland. itu kalau ada duit lah. on the other hand there is the cheaper option by travelling with greyhound to boston-portland. best sikit. cheap and can enjoy great scenery. downside ..penatler